08/01/10
“Honesty”. What is the definition of this word? Is it meaning that we can’t lie and everything we do or say must be accordingly to rules and trustworthiness?
In a relationship or in a marriage, Honesty & Trustworthy are a string to tie man & woman (husband and wife) together. If one party gave up on the word… the whole thing will be shattered into pieces and that will be the end of the entire relationship or marriage.
Let me view back of some histories of polygamy marriage in the olden days. Man could marry a few women as wives, but in the opposite way, married women will be put on death punishment if she ever being caught having affairs with any man. I’m not trying to say that woman can go on cheating on man like how they use to do to us. What I’m trying to say is until today, some of the people in this society still carry on these stupid facts that man can have a few relationships while they can’t accept woman to do the same to them!
I have a very close girl friend. She is married, and now she is 4 months pregnant. She treats her husband very nice and I can see the glow of happiness in her face.
Unfortunately... 1 day while I was out having lunch with my colleagues, I SAW her husband kissing and making out with another woman in the car!! I go closer to take a better glimpse and IS really HIM!! Well... I was close enough for him to see me too!
For the moment I was thinking, what the F@#$! What have my good friend does? Any mistake that she has done to deserve this in return? Unfaithfulness of her dear husband while she’s carrying his child in her womb??!
On that evening itself my friend’s husband contact me and asked me out for a tea session to talk things out. I was hesitating weather should I go or not? Anyway is their marriage right? Why should I be involved? I could pretend as nothing had happen before and I see nothing! But I CAN’T! because she is my good friend… and I really does not want this MAN to hurt her at this time of her life. So I went to a café and sat down have a serious chat with Desmond.(Her husband)
He is begging me not to tell my friend about the car incident and that he’s having an affair with his office colleague! What an ASSH^*#! I told him I choose not to tell Angie (my friend) is because No.1 she is pregnant now and is not a good time for her to deal with this! No.2 I want him to end this at once!
I’m not an expert in relationship counseling, but I love my best friend enough to involve myself in this matter. Many won’t understand why I had to go through all the trouble of this matter… but Ice Queen with the heart of ICE cannot just sit down and pretend as though nothing had happen. I’m still a human after all. I practically lectured Desmond for an hour and I can see his face in guilt and shame. Stil not satisfy, I told him to be faithful to Angie and ends this stupid affairs with that woman! That B*&%^h (Michelle), I knew because I’ve seen her once at last year’s Christmas party. She’s those type that will seduce man with boobs and butts and brainlessly disgrace herself in the woman’s society. She’s 1 of those that makes woman’s pride become extremely CHEAP!!
After about a week, I taught about the matter again. Actually I’ve listen to many stories through media, family members, and friends of friends… is a very common thing happen around the world for their other halve to cheat on them. Is just that this now happens to my own good friend and that I’m reacting so protective over her. I choose not to tell Angie because I WANT to safe the relationship and not to ruin it. I WANT the lil baby in Angie’s womb to have the love of both his/her dad & mom… I do call Desmond up to ask about things… and remind him how much Angie love and treasured him in heart. I guess that’s all I can do … many things are beyond my control… but I do pray… pray that God will bring them together again.
Since ever this matter happens, I feel quite scared... honestly… I’ve been hurt many times… and the pain in the heart is unexplainable… is even more painful than having a deep cut wound on our hands or legs. Is twice the pain!
Afraid to love again is 1 of the problem that most common problem for women that have been hurt. To all women, what will you do if 1 day you found out that your spouse is cheating on you all these while? Will you talk it out with him and ask for a divorce? Or you rather pretend nothing has happened just to stay in the marriage as long as you can because you love him too much to let him go?
For me…. I’ve tried both options above. Result is :
Reveal the truth at his face and asking for a break up to end things up is a decision to finalized the relationship and also the last heartbroken for loving that idiotic man. Is kind of cool… cause you are the 1 that dumb him first and you may even splash a cup of water on his face before you go :p hehe.. (so dramatic) but after that we gotto cried for few weeks and needs lots of time to recover.
To pretend nothing has happened before and act like a stupid every time you know he’s calling or texting the other B&*^%h or after seeing her and comes home with a tired face looking at you and still said to you “dear love I’m home.”
This choice is double the pain of dumping your man because you’re lying to yourself… you taught that close one eye on him will safe your marriage. Is that true? I will tell you my pass experience… every time I knew he lie to me or after a cheating has done, I pretend not to know and treat him extra nice so that I can win back his heart. But the way he treats me is becoming more and more cold and as though that I’m a mental retarded woman that is easily to be cheated on. I can’t feel the love anymore…I’m struggling to make things up and good again… each time I do this over and over again the pain becomes greater and greater… to 1 extend… I can’t take it anymore, and goes back to option 1. Dumb him.
So why have to go through a long process before ending it? Is because of “LOVE” and “HOPE”.
To all men out there :
There are a few things here I wanted to tell you guys on behalf of every fateful women in the world :
1) We trust and meaned every word we said in our wedding vows in front of you.
2) When we love… we give 100% we could not love halve heartedly…
3) We put our trust in you for the rest of our life because we love you truly from our heart. Please don’t break it into pieces after our looks have faded result of the process of getting old together.
4) We will still love you guys eventho you have more grey hairs as time goes by…and develop big
belly in future :p with a tiny hope that you guys will love us fatefully too.
5) We could sacrifice everything for you… for “love” sake! Doing all the house work, helping out
in financial loads (working), bearing child birth pain to have children of “us” together, and
other things are not as important anymore to us .. All WE want is only 1 thing. Fatefulness.
That leads to a happy marriage. I guess we don’t ask much from you men.
And if you guys now are having a fun time out there with some other woman… think deeply… the woman that loves you for you is waiting for you to come home safely at home. She is the 1 that will love you for the rest of your life no matter how your looks fade in future or if you become broke suddenly… or if you ever unluckily suffer from a chronic decease!
Ask yourself … will the woman that now you’re enjoying with do the same too? Will she?
Before is too late… safe your marriage now… safe your relationship… love your other halve like how she ever love you. I’m sure you won’t regret if in future you’re still holding her hand and enjoying your time with your grand children.
Cp: Ice Queen with love. =)
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